My Cousin’s Anecdote

Fritz leaned against the outside wall of the barbershop and leisurely viewed the cars driving on Main Street. Hans pulled up to the curb in a new cherry red Mustang convertible with white leather interior, and the top down. He parked and waved at his cousin.

“Beautiful car Hans, how did you get it?”

“Well, that’s a good story,” he snickered. “You want to hear it?”

“You bet!”

“Gretel saw me walking down the road last evening and asked me if I wanted a ride. I said, ‘Sure,’ and got in the passenger seat. She drove toward the woods and lake. The full moon was high in the sky and it sure was beautiful. After a while she asked if I wanted to drive. I grinned, ‘You bet,’ and we switched places. This baby handles really well, and I could hardly feel the bumps on the dirt road. There was a green grassy opening in the pine trees, and we could see the moon’s reflection on the dark blue lake water. She said, ‘Stop here for a bit.’ So, I swerved to park. She got out saying, ‘It sure is lovely tonight.’ I had to agree. Then she gave me an interesting look, started taking her clothes off and dropped them on the passenger seat. I thought she was going skinny dipping, but she turned to me and said, ‘You can have anything you want.’ I told her I didn’t know what she meant. And she cooed again, ‘You can have anything you want.’ So, I took the car.”

Fritz gazed at the swirled red, white and blue barber pole, rubbed the stubble on his chin, then wisely spoke with a chuckle, “You’re a smart man, Hans. You would have never fit in them clothes.”

Gretel ran home naked and laughing. The moon beams highlighting her bare skin alternated with the shadows of the trees. She felt free and alive while pondering, each one of us was like a prisoner in a solitary tower and we communicated with the other prisoners in their towers. This was mankind and we were like actors alone on our stages. Would she try again to seduce her second cousin, once removed, who was her same age? Of course! He was handsome, strong and had a cute behind. Hans’s trick wasn’t rude, but an opportunity for revenge. She would get her car and clothes back with an anecdote to tell her friends.

This short story was published in Art with Altitude Magazine Summer 2023.

Enjoy,   Ken Proper